To be used and tossed away....
To be used and to be tossed away like a useless toy, helping people (with very expensive/time consuming requests) for nothing in exchange, and If i dare to ask for something in return good lord I just commited the worst sin ever...or in the best case im ignored like a pushover
Have we learned something from 2020?
do I have to remind you cat what happened to you in 2020? no? ok... shut up and watch.... just watch...
Look how all of them kill themselves in their own misery, you tried your best...you think they gonna learn? the concept of gratitude??...please cat dont be stupid...
Im gonna ask you a question cat
Can you sleep at night peacefully?
Yes... I can...
Then we can end this conversation right here, theres nothing to worry about just keep watching and enjoy the slaughter
Have we learned something from 2020?
do I have to remind you cat what happened to you in 2020? no? ok... shut up and watch.... just watch...
Look how all of them kill themselves in their own misery, you tried your best...you think they gonna learn? the concept of gratitude??...please cat dont be stupid...
Im gonna ask you a question cat
Can you sleep at night peacefully?
Yes... I can...
Then we can end this conversation right here, theres nothing to worry about just keep watching and enjoy the slaughter
Failed Update
Thinking more careful what happened yesterday and noticing how, every single person around me are acting like zombies or incredibily demoralized it is a very worrysome sight.
It all feels like, someone (something) was trying to program them and they were mid-update cycle getting new instructions when suddenly those things left and pull the plug similar to the warning message of windows of "do not turn off your computer" fucking up everyone royaly in the process
Well that's exactly what they did, they ran away like cowards after so many years of insanity and left everyone half-assed in between updates. Now feels like 90% of the people are zombified somehow, people still believing theres a covid hoax, people wearing masks, people doubling down on believing the TV, and the worst offender of all people thinking that by being "kind and understanding" don't notice the world around them is more dangerous than ever and will be stabbed, raped, killed or even worse with such thinking.
VICTIM: "BUT I LIKE BLACK AND MUSLIM PEOPLE!!!"
CAT: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE MARGARETH!?! I CAN"T GO OUT ANYMORE WITHOUT DOUBLE CHECKING IF A BLACK BLOB WITH A KNIFE IS FOLLOWING US TO DESTROY OUR EXISTENCE!!?!?!?! YOU ARE A WOMAN FOR GOD SAKE HAVE SOME SELF AWARENESS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!!!!
On the other side...
VICTIM: MY SAFE SPACE IS COMPROMISED BY RIGHT-WINGER NAZI MUSK, I MUST BAN EVERYTHING MORE THAN EVER I MUST STAY IN MY ECHO CHAMBER MORE THAN EVER I NEED TO BE SAFE, PLEASE STAY SAFE!! AND LET'S *search marxist thesaurus* ORGANIZE A COMMUNITY OF WELL-BEHAVED BEINGS FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE AND THE OPPRESSED MINORITIES BECAUSE LIKED-MINDED INDIVIDUALS, TIGHT KNIT COMMUNITY, ETC, ETC...
CAT: *BANS HERSELF AND LEAVES RUNNING*
Then on another side...
VICTIM: I DON'T WANNA LIVE I HATE EVERYTHING
CAT: WELL THEN KILL YOURSELF!?!?! WHY DONT YOU DO IT??!!, no... BECAUSE, you need a lot of BRAVERY to commit such act! which you dont have.... so keep EATING YOUR MASK AND YOUR DAILY TV INDOCTRINATION FEAR FLAKES
And another side...
VICTIM: ACTUALLY IT WAS ALL VOLUNTARY!, NOBODY FORCED YOU OR ANYONE TO GET A VACCINE!! BELIEVE ME I WORK IN THE HOSPITAL
CAT: Why........you............
Writing all this shit in a cafe while suddenly:
WAITER: Excuse me maam, did you finished with that glass? did you liked the food? can I take the plates out?
CAT: AH oh....errr ...yeah...the food ...was delicious! *shuffles nerviously the table, a fork falls on the floor* , can you bring me another coke and the bill? Thank you!
But anyways, I guess you understand, places like Reddit for example are terminally gone (well not surprised there tbh...) but like that many other if not all social networks are terminal in one way or another the demoralizing is very insane and its all fun and laughs when you just see random people from the net coplaining andcrying for it.
But it hits different when its also happening to your family and childhood friends..
Once again the train departs and leaves... (I really like the train thing but I guess its the most graphical example i can give you on how I feel)
and of course they all think I am the one terminally ill and of pity they tell me such things too, let's not forget about that tiny detail as well.
But anyways cat I'm tired, it's sunday, shall we play/watch something??
It all feels like, someone (something) was trying to program them and they were mid-update cycle getting new instructions when suddenly those things left and pull the plug similar to the warning message of windows of "do not turn off your computer" fucking up everyone royaly in the process
Well that's exactly what they did, they ran away like cowards after so many years of insanity and left everyone half-assed in between updates. Now feels like 90% of the people are zombified somehow, people still believing theres a covid hoax, people wearing masks, people doubling down on believing the TV, and the worst offender of all people thinking that by being "kind and understanding" don't notice the world around them is more dangerous than ever and will be stabbed, raped, killed or even worse with such thinking.
VICTIM: "BUT I LIKE BLACK AND MUSLIM PEOPLE!!!"
CAT: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE MARGARETH!?! I CAN"T GO OUT ANYMORE WITHOUT DOUBLE CHECKING IF A BLACK BLOB WITH A KNIFE IS FOLLOWING US TO DESTROY OUR EXISTENCE!!?!?!?! YOU ARE A WOMAN FOR GOD SAKE HAVE SOME SELF AWARENESS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!!!!
On the other side...
VICTIM: MY SAFE SPACE IS COMPROMISED BY RIGHT-WINGER NAZI MUSK, I MUST BAN EVERYTHING MORE THAN EVER I MUST STAY IN MY ECHO CHAMBER MORE THAN EVER I NEED TO BE SAFE, PLEASE STAY SAFE!! AND LET'S *search marxist thesaurus* ORGANIZE A COMMUNITY OF WELL-BEHAVED BEINGS FOR THE RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE AND THE OPPRESSED MINORITIES BECAUSE LIKED-MINDED INDIVIDUALS, TIGHT KNIT COMMUNITY, ETC, ETC...
CAT: *BANS HERSELF AND LEAVES RUNNING*
Then on another side...
VICTIM: I DON'T WANNA LIVE I HATE EVERYTHING
CAT: WELL THEN KILL YOURSELF!?!?! WHY DONT YOU DO IT??!!, no... BECAUSE, you need a lot of BRAVERY to commit such act! which you dont have.... so keep EATING YOUR MASK AND YOUR DAILY TV INDOCTRINATION FEAR FLAKES
And another side...
VICTIM: ACTUALLY IT WAS ALL VOLUNTARY!, NOBODY FORCED YOU OR ANYONE TO GET A VACCINE!! BELIEVE ME I WORK IN THE HOSPITAL
CAT: Why........you............
Writing all this shit in a cafe while suddenly:
WAITER: Excuse me maam, did you finished with that glass? did you liked the food? can I take the plates out?
CAT: AH oh....errr ...yeah...the food ...was delicious! *shuffles nerviously the table, a fork falls on the floor* , can you bring me another coke and the bill? Thank you!
But anyways, I guess you understand, places like Reddit for example are terminally gone (well not surprised there tbh...) but like that many other if not all social networks are terminal in one way or another the demoralizing is very insane and its all fun and laughs when you just see random people from the net coplaining andcrying for it.
But it hits different when its also happening to your family and childhood friends..
Once again the train departs and leaves... (I really like the train thing but I guess its the most graphical example i can give you on how I feel)
and of course they all think I am the one terminally ill and of pity they tell me such things too, let's not forget about that tiny detail as well.
But anyways cat I'm tired, it's sunday, shall we play/watch something??
Everyone has it figured out???
Today was one of those days I felt once again the "Train Syndrome" as I like to call it, looks like everyone has their lives figured it out and I am the one that is still lacking in everything somehow because I decided to just dedicate to simple home hobbies...
And it's just another of those days where as they continue talking and telling me everything happening with their lives lately, has that lingering feeling like its an attempt to show off? but for what?? I'm not really better than you neither you are better than me.
At the end of the day we are all just trying to figure out stuff and survive in this shitty world so why making a theater of it? why prop it up in such way that looks so fake and perfect???
So it all comes down that the way they see life and the way I see life is totally different, at the very least I can maintain this friendship but not really sure if for how long or if this person will just get tired of me and my odd way to view life.
The train track is drifting away from each other as time pass, and I already can tell that we are all getting farther and farther away...
Yet this is my reality so I have to continue working with it.
And it's just another of those days where as they continue talking and telling me everything happening with their lives lately, has that lingering feeling like its an attempt to show off? but for what?? I'm not really better than you neither you are better than me.
At the end of the day we are all just trying to figure out stuff and survive in this shitty world so why making a theater of it? why prop it up in such way that looks so fake and perfect???
So it all comes down that the way they see life and the way I see life is totally different, at the very least I can maintain this friendship but not really sure if for how long or if this person will just get tired of me and my odd way to view life.
The train track is drifting away from each other as time pass, and I already can tell that we are all getting farther and farther away...
Yet this is my reality so I have to continue working with it.
Dream Report 1# 2025
Im pulling out from my brain what I can still remember before the dream vanishes from memory, just follow the little paragraphs chronologically:
i was working in what seemed to be a very messy office like a factory or sweat software shop, i wasnt doing much because i was idling from my work
saw a group of pepple sitting on the big gathering table, decided to join them, turns out to be they were talking about the interesting topics of the world, such as whos running the world
I tell them the world is governmed by 3 races, humans, lizards and a 3rd one which are interdimensional beings, but these last ones are unable to reach our reality they life in another reality
the public was at first agreeing with me and excited about the topic too, some of the people sitting had totally opposing views to me but for some reason this topic brought us all together regarding our differences and i was super happy for that, it was an exciting discussion for everyone present!!, then right after a minute or so and like clockwork they suddenly became totally silent, stand up, and each one of them returned to their posts in total sepulcral silence
it was very strange for me to see such weird sudden chage of behavior, kinda robotical, i went to the main area or lobby, there was a job acquaitance sitting down there, then after i sat down with him he told me "you really screwed it up this time!, like you werent doing your job at all" and i was totally confused?? because everyone else were goofing around too, so what gives???
then suddenly a lady from HR appears and tell me to go help her interview alongside my manager a young boy which initially decided to not apply for my position
after i arrive at his office he was idling too and totally lost, they pulled him away and made him cook some biscuits??? with my boss praising his cooking skills in a little portable grill that was there????
the weird humiliation interview begins and he is even more confused, then they ask me if im willing to exchange my job with him, i knew this was a bad moment so ive said in a very serious tone "Well.." then i got interrumpted right away by this guy, and he directly said in a very scary voice like he just saw a ghost or something "I.... i dont want... to work here and I prefer to just leave so im not interested in her position...... thank you", the guy left running leaving them hanging and
the humilliation was shifted directly to the HR/manager who instantly turned their views saw me with rage eyes because they had to still keep me aboard , they had no choice
everyone walked away and i went back to my idle counter area... in the way I told the HR lady "well that didnt went well right? I guess im staying for a bit longer while you find someone to replace and fire me?"
she snapped right there and told me "YES I WANT TO GET RID OF YOU im gonna make sure to make your life here a living hell and you WILL regret for doing this!!" for sure regret of what i just did but what did I do??, i was never given an answer!! I was totally confused but the hostility left little room for second guesses, it was clear as water i was disliked a lot...
She then said "I need a younger brain... your brain is too old already and you know nothing you are useless" and i was like "pardon me???" as she began to walk even faster to get away from me until eventually vanished
I was shocked but i acted tough the best way i could so brushed it off like no big deal, from here on the nightmare/dream becomes garbled or abstract like the tape is about to end
I woke up just now with an inmense feelings of dread and despair, like i was just tortured mentally and somehow made it alive back into the safety of my bed...??
went for a glass of water and grabbed the bible....
what happened there.???
i was working in what seemed to be a very messy office like a factory or sweat software shop, i wasnt doing much because i was idling from my work
saw a group of pepple sitting on the big gathering table, decided to join them, turns out to be they were talking about the interesting topics of the world, such as whos running the world
I tell them the world is governmed by 3 races, humans, lizards and a 3rd one which are interdimensional beings, but these last ones are unable to reach our reality they life in another reality
the public was at first agreeing with me and excited about the topic too, some of the people sitting had totally opposing views to me but for some reason this topic brought us all together regarding our differences and i was super happy for that, it was an exciting discussion for everyone present!!, then right after a minute or so and like clockwork they suddenly became totally silent, stand up, and each one of them returned to their posts in total sepulcral silence
it was very strange for me to see such weird sudden chage of behavior, kinda robotical, i went to the main area or lobby, there was a job acquaitance sitting down there, then after i sat down with him he told me "you really screwed it up this time!, like you werent doing your job at all" and i was totally confused?? because everyone else were goofing around too, so what gives???
then suddenly a lady from HR appears and tell me to go help her interview alongside my manager a young boy which initially decided to not apply for my position
after i arrive at his office he was idling too and totally lost, they pulled him away and made him cook some biscuits??? with my boss praising his cooking skills in a little portable grill that was there????
the weird humiliation interview begins and he is even more confused, then they ask me if im willing to exchange my job with him, i knew this was a bad moment so ive said in a very serious tone "Well.." then i got interrumpted right away by this guy, and he directly said in a very scary voice like he just saw a ghost or something "I.... i dont want... to work here and I prefer to just leave so im not interested in her position...... thank you", the guy left running leaving them hanging and
the humilliation was shifted directly to the HR/manager who instantly turned their views saw me with rage eyes because they had to still keep me aboard , they had no choice
everyone walked away and i went back to my idle counter area... in the way I told the HR lady "well that didnt went well right? I guess im staying for a bit longer while you find someone to replace and fire me?"
she snapped right there and told me "YES I WANT TO GET RID OF YOU im gonna make sure to make your life here a living hell and you WILL regret for doing this!!" for sure regret of what i just did but what did I do??, i was never given an answer!! I was totally confused but the hostility left little room for second guesses, it was clear as water i was disliked a lot...
She then said "I need a younger brain... your brain is too old already and you know nothing you are useless" and i was like "pardon me???" as she began to walk even faster to get away from me until eventually vanished
I was shocked but i acted tough the best way i could so brushed it off like no big deal, from here on the nightmare/dream becomes garbled or abstract like the tape is about to end
I woke up just now with an inmense feelings of dread and despair, like i was just tortured mentally and somehow made it alive back into the safety of my bed...??
went for a glass of water and grabbed the bible....
what happened there.???
Poor Computers
I wanted to write this as I was actually setting up the revamped version of the kiyomizu psobb site, and while doing so I did it in a way I had to jump across 2 platforms, return to the year 2005 and come back again to 2025 to finish setting everything up.
I will write more about it in the following post, but I just wanted to say one thing.... Windows XP saved the day (once again), and why is that?
How much computer do you really need for your tasks? and how horrible and sluggish computers are turning out to be, for office work, for gaming, all while at the same time the user experience while using the devices is NOT IMPROVING whatsoever.
If anything using a computer nowadays is more limiting and more difficult than using one 20+ years ago!!!!!
What happened to all of us?? are we insane????? Right now to have some sort of basic office functionality you have to pay an incredible beefy subscription of Microsoft 365 just to have Word and Excel?
What about photo editing? Are you ready to sell your soul to Adobe for a whole year or face paying a costly fine if you bail out?????
The only thing that did changed is that now most of these functions are achieved via webapps, but I really doubt about their usefulness, do you really REALLY think you gonna do PivotTables and Macros on Excel Web or Google Sheets???
My only solace is to ask some AI about all this problems and expect a solution!!! but why!?!?
I'm really just asking these questions in a very ironic way, the real culprit of this is the real one affecting absolutely everything else in our daily life,
You will live in a walled garden using applications that are poor copycats of more complete software packages with an 'improved modern' UI (rounded corners) (FFS) that are created by a mixture of activitsts 'programmers' and indians using AI prompts to do the code grunt.
What do you expect? performance? Size?
NO!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!! ITS OVER!!!
I will write more about it in the following post, but I just wanted to say one thing.... Windows XP saved the day (once again), and why is that?
How much computer do you really need for your tasks? and how horrible and sluggish computers are turning out to be, for office work, for gaming, all while at the same time the user experience while using the devices is NOT IMPROVING whatsoever.
If anything using a computer nowadays is more limiting and more difficult than using one 20+ years ago!!!!!
What happened to all of us?? are we insane????? Right now to have some sort of basic office functionality you have to pay an incredible beefy subscription of Microsoft 365 just to have Word and Excel?
What about photo editing? Are you ready to sell your soul to Adobe for a whole year or face paying a costly fine if you bail out?????
The only thing that did changed is that now most of these functions are achieved via webapps, but I really doubt about their usefulness, do you really REALLY think you gonna do PivotTables and Macros on Excel Web or Google Sheets???
My only solace is to ask some AI about all this problems and expect a solution!!! but why!?!?
I'm really just asking these questions in a very ironic way, the real culprit of this is the real one affecting absolutely everything else in our daily life,
You will live in a walled garden using applications that are poor copycats of more complete software packages with an 'improved modern' UI (rounded corners) (FFS) that are created by a mixture of activitsts 'programmers' and indians using AI prompts to do the code grunt.
What do you expect? performance? Size?
NO!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!! ITS OVER!!!
