But regardless
Compared with the insanity of previous years, this specific 2025 has been a quiet year for me, but has been a quiet year that allowed me to kinda reassess my surroundings and see what i've been dealing with which havent been good.
But still this year has been a mellow one (within the insanity that has been ever since we got stuck in 2020 loop)
Like an INTERMISSION? or Interlude of sorts??
Yes CAT like a break time year to understand many things
I'm actually very very happy with what i've achieved and learned on the technology side, all the nerdy stuff i had to deal with the server at least it has become entertaining and I feel much more confident of my skills dealing with servers and such like the kiyomizu migration.
I haven't played much with the exeption of PSO which is also like a job sometimes, Granblue VS and a few retro games here and there
BTW did you know? cdromance.org is back!! and it kinda brought me some surprise happiness because I used to check so many obscure games here for old consoles specially when I don't feel like dealing with the online games.
I got so sad 2 years ago when the peak of the tourists rage decided to censor the site to the oblivion that they had to actually go offline..that's another thing i'm confident is also ending.
Then Granblue VS I continue playing with my friend when hes not feeling as dead as me, because we are in a similar situation with similar schedules, we try to find some time to at least play some matches and I can go full menhera and just die 2000 times but at least helps me release some steam.
Moreover novemeber is starting but I'm gonna be trying my best to make this month pass as fast as possible then we reach xmas, this xmas is expected to be also a quiet one and begin preparations to what's gonna happen to me and my life starting the next year..
But still this year has been a mellow one (within the insanity that has been ever since we got stuck in 2020 loop)
Like an INTERMISSION? or Interlude of sorts??
Yes CAT like a break time year to understand many things
I'm actually very very happy with what i've achieved and learned on the technology side, all the nerdy stuff i had to deal with the server at least it has become entertaining and I feel much more confident of my skills dealing with servers and such like the kiyomizu migration.
I haven't played much with the exeption of PSO which is also like a job sometimes, Granblue VS and a few retro games here and there
BTW did you know? cdromance.org is back!! and it kinda brought me some surprise happiness because I used to check so many obscure games here for old consoles specially when I don't feel like dealing with the online games.
I got so sad 2 years ago when the peak of the tourists rage decided to censor the site to the oblivion that they had to actually go offline..that's another thing i'm confident is also ending.
Then Granblue VS I continue playing with my friend when hes not feeling as dead as me, because we are in a similar situation with similar schedules, we try to find some time to at least play some matches and I can go full menhera and just die 2000 times but at least helps me release some steam.
Moreover novemeber is starting but I'm gonna be trying my best to make this month pass as fast as possible then we reach xmas, this xmas is expected to be also a quiet one and begin preparations to what's gonna happen to me and my life starting the next year..
Then the internet....
Not much has changed on that side, it's still a very lonely experience as usual, it's all very....transactional....
I need to act like a cunning bitch for being able to achieve anything and its just fucking tiring to the soul... but it's the only way to move things forward a bit in any way...
But I don't know? I'm tired I guess I havent repeated this in these last 3 posts the underline is just.....that...
The very few people I someone kept in contact with also became deviants, drug addicts, normies, npcs (the worst), cowards, etc. I stopped talkin with all of them too...
But in a way it's all fucked up, I don't want to deal with any of them,
We have 10 fingers in 2 hands, I think at this point If you put me to count with how many sane people im talking to lately I cannot even use 1 hand to count, less than 3 if not less....
There's a lot of hatred in my heart lately, but i think is not hatred but more like despair, I don't know how to explain it with words
CAT sounds like the usual stuff you always had to deal with???
Yeah. but well I think im allowed to complain and say that I'm tired of dealing with the same things repeating over and over like a broken vynil disc?
Cant be helped..
I need to act like a cunning bitch for being able to achieve anything and its just fucking tiring to the soul... but it's the only way to move things forward a bit in any way...
But I don't know? I'm tired I guess I havent repeated this in these last 3 posts the underline is just.....that...
The very few people I someone kept in contact with also became deviants, drug addicts, normies, npcs (the worst), cowards, etc. I stopped talkin with all of them too...
But in a way it's all fucked up, I don't want to deal with any of them,
We have 10 fingers in 2 hands, I think at this point If you put me to count with how many sane people im talking to lately I cannot even use 1 hand to count, less than 3 if not less....
There's a lot of hatred in my heart lately, but i think is not hatred but more like despair, I don't know how to explain it with words
CAT sounds like the usual stuff you always had to deal with???
Yeah. but well I think im allowed to complain and say that I'm tired of dealing with the same things repeating over and over like a broken vynil disc?
Cant be helped..
On the topic of many people
On the topic regarding too many people....yes, there's just too many people out there and the worst part is that they are all extremelly dangerous
Very cruel people, it's all a very soulless experience, it feels like you are talking with carcasses not with humans anymore...
carcasses of something that kinda resembles a person but is not a person and then you wonder, how is this thing even alive?? how is this person functioning?? are they able to love/hate??
It's bizarre and i don't know wha to tell you probably (most likely) I'm talking beacuse im very very tired physically and mentally but since I have to spend 3 + 8 + 3 hours of a 24 hour day staring at people of all kinds... (do the math)
You eventually begin to see patterns and behaviors, and you cannot do absolutely nothing but to stay silent.
Scream in Silence.
Very cruel people, it's all a very soulless experience, it feels like you are talking with carcasses not with humans anymore...
carcasses of something that kinda resembles a person but is not a person and then you wonder, how is this thing even alive?? how is this person functioning?? are they able to love/hate??
It's bizarre and i don't know wha to tell you probably (most likely) I'm talking beacuse im very very tired physically and mentally but since I have to spend 3 + 8 + 3 hours of a 24 hour day staring at people of all kinds... (do the math)
You eventually begin to see patterns and behaviors, and you cannot do absolutely nothing but to stay silent.
Scream in Silence.
Oh my god...
CAAAATTTT MISSING AGAIN!?! WHAT's WRONG!~?
Nothing, just very.....very tired... I don't know whats wrong with me lately but I've been so busy with the training and the commuting i have to do everyday I think it's finally taking a toll on me..
I'm feeling like...there's no time?
But not like the Meg sticker more like..a weird feeling that you are in a endless threadmill machine that never stops, it stops for like 6~8 hours max and then begins to run again...
And it makes sense because lately all my free time (that I'm actually at home) is just around 7 or 8 hours max per-day....
The rest of the hours is the usual 4~5 sleep hours if im lucky and then the nasty commuting to the training center and then spending the day doing nothing there.
Ever since I completed the RHCE exam having to also attend to the basic course for RHCSA is pissing me off because I'm not really learning much and i'm very bored. But I cannot get either diploma if i dont finish these ones too...
So Yeah i have no choice but to keep going this horrible slug but is really taking a toll, i'm in a very bad mood and also im surrounded by ....NPC? or more like.... pieces of meat that must be destroyed?
Honestly the people I'm seeing in the center pisses me off to no limits so its all very boring and I dont talk to anyone
Specially since the last incident I had a few months ago I'm talking even less... in fact, I'm not talking at all!! (only inside my head and in my inner monologue)
And If I dare to talk i have to deal with any normie or NPC convo that will directly make me scream of frustration at this point.
I'm just tired of everyone, there's too many people that are mere pieces of meat that have no point in existing in this world (I know I sound super globalist here now)
But I'm kinda beginning to understand that there might be too many unnesessar people out there..
Heh! probably they think the same about me and would like to see me dead too how lovely!?!!?!
Nothing, just very.....very tired... I don't know whats wrong with me lately but I've been so busy with the training and the commuting i have to do everyday I think it's finally taking a toll on me..
I'm feeling like...there's no time?
But not like the Meg sticker more like..a weird feeling that you are in a endless threadmill machine that never stops, it stops for like 6~8 hours max and then begins to run again...
And it makes sense because lately all my free time (that I'm actually at home) is just around 7 or 8 hours max per-day....
The rest of the hours is the usual 4~5 sleep hours if im lucky and then the nasty commuting to the training center and then spending the day doing nothing there.
Ever since I completed the RHCE exam having to also attend to the basic course for RHCSA is pissing me off because I'm not really learning much and i'm very bored. But I cannot get either diploma if i dont finish these ones too...
So Yeah i have no choice but to keep going this horrible slug but is really taking a toll, i'm in a very bad mood and also im surrounded by ....NPC? or more like.... pieces of meat that must be destroyed?
Honestly the people I'm seeing in the center pisses me off to no limits so its all very boring and I dont talk to anyone
Specially since the last incident I had a few months ago I'm talking even less... in fact, I'm not talking at all!! (only inside my head and in my inner monologue)
And If I dare to talk i have to deal with any normie or NPC convo that will directly make me scream of frustration at this point.
I'm just tired of everyone, there's too many people that are mere pieces of meat that have no point in existing in this world (I know I sound super globalist here now)
But I'm kinda beginning to understand that there might be too many unnesessar people out there..
Heh! probably they think the same about me and would like to see me dead too how lovely!?!!?!
Waste of time
I wasted like 2 hours trying to organize the horrible mess in my head regarding games and shit happening to them lately and write a post about it, did a whole essay of it and ended up deleting it because...
What is the point? I cannot even get angry at these things anymore...
Our games, music, culture, media, all the things we enjoyed getting enshitified on purpose from all fronts companies, fandoms, etc.
For what??
Just backup the stuff you love and care about I think thats all I can say and I will never get tired of repeating this same mantra
Previously I used to rant a lot about more things but lately, honestly, I'm tired...
And even the basic premise of meeting new people via these cultural means, chances are you end up meeting very horrible people with horrible feelings inside because our hobbies are becoming more and more mainstream.
I'm not a saint, in fact I'm a fucking menhera craving for edgelord'ing like the good old days, I love to talk shit about everything and everyone too as probably they do the same with me and is totally deserved.
But one thing is to talk shit to trigger a reaction of someone for a laugh, teasing, ranting, insulting (did you know insulting is actually beneficial for mental health and wellbeing?) but it is still a genuine human to human interaction......another thing is display very horrible and truly heartless feelings cold like a machine....completely devoid of any humanity
I'm talking about The Normies, they are the only ones that wont hesitate in say or worse DO something leaving you to rot and die regardless of who you are. Now, translate this behavior at a national/worldwide-level scale, very frightening....
I recently had a cultural shock rediscovering them again like in some sort of wicked safari as I kept observing them, as I lived very secluded ever since the 2020 events it seems to be I had forgotten entirely about them, I kinda went out of my bunker and found it the hard way...its very horrible out there....specially lately...
Joking/shitalk/rants aside, these are genuinely scary people
What is the point? I cannot even get angry at these things anymore...
Our games, music, culture, media, all the things we enjoyed getting enshitified on purpose from all fronts companies, fandoms, etc.
For what??
Just backup the stuff you love and care about I think thats all I can say and I will never get tired of repeating this same mantra
Previously I used to rant a lot about more things but lately, honestly, I'm tired...
And even the basic premise of meeting new people via these cultural means, chances are you end up meeting very horrible people with horrible feelings inside because our hobbies are becoming more and more mainstream.
I'm not a saint, in fact I'm a fucking menhera craving for edgelord'ing like the good old days, I love to talk shit about everything and everyone too as probably they do the same with me and is totally deserved.
But one thing is to talk shit to trigger a reaction of someone for a laugh, teasing, ranting, insulting (did you know insulting is actually beneficial for mental health and wellbeing?) but it is still a genuine human to human interaction......another thing is display very horrible and truly heartless feelings cold like a machine....completely devoid of any humanity
I'm talking about The Normies, they are the only ones that wont hesitate in say or worse DO something leaving you to rot and die regardless of who you are. Now, translate this behavior at a national/worldwide-level scale, very frightening....
I recently had a cultural shock rediscovering them again like in some sort of wicked safari as I kept observing them, as I lived very secluded ever since the 2020 events it seems to be I had forgotten entirely about them, I kinda went out of my bunker and found it the hard way...its very horrible out there....specially lately...
Joking/shitalk/rants aside, these are genuinely scary people
