Then the internet....
Not much has changed on that side, it's still a very lonely experience as usual, it's all very....transactional....
I need to act like a cunning bitch for being able to achieve anything and its just fucking tiring to the soul... but it's the only way to move things forward a bit in any way...
But I don't know? I'm tired I guess I havent repeated this in these last 3 posts the underline is just.....that...
The very few people I someone kept in contact with also became deviants, drug addicts, normies, npcs (the worst), cowards, etc. I stopped talkin with all of them too...
But in a way it's all fucked up, I don't want to deal with any of them,
We have 10 fingers in 2 hands, I think at this point If you put me to count with how many sane people im talking to lately I cannot even use 1 hand to count, less than 3 if not less....
There's a lot of hatred in my heart lately, but i think is not hatred but more like despair, I don't know how to explain it with words
CAT sounds like the usual stuff you always had to deal with???
Yeah. but well I think im allowed to complain and say that I'm tired of dealing with the same things repeating over and over like a broken vynil disc?
Cant be helped..
I need to act like a cunning bitch for being able to achieve anything and its just fucking tiring to the soul... but it's the only way to move things forward a bit in any way...
But I don't know? I'm tired I guess I havent repeated this in these last 3 posts the underline is just.....that...
The very few people I someone kept in contact with also became deviants, drug addicts, normies, npcs (the worst), cowards, etc. I stopped talkin with all of them too...
But in a way it's all fucked up, I don't want to deal with any of them,
We have 10 fingers in 2 hands, I think at this point If you put me to count with how many sane people im talking to lately I cannot even use 1 hand to count, less than 3 if not less....
There's a lot of hatred in my heart lately, but i think is not hatred but more like despair, I don't know how to explain it with words
CAT sounds like the usual stuff you always had to deal with???
Yeah. but well I think im allowed to complain and say that I'm tired of dealing with the same things repeating over and over like a broken vynil disc?
Cant be helped..
On the topic of many people
On the topic regarding too many people....yes, there's just too many people out there and the worst part is that they are all extremelly dangerous
Very cruel people, it's all a very soulless experience, it feels like you are talking with carcasses not with humans anymore...
carcasses of something that kinda resembles a person but is not a person and then you wonder, how is this thing even alive?? how is this person functioning?? are they able to love/hate??
It's bizarre and i don't know wha to tell you probably (most likely) I'm talking beacuse im very very tired physically and mentally but since I have to spend 3 + 8 + 3 hours of a 24 hour day staring at people of all kinds... (do the math)
You eventually begin to see patterns and behaviors, and you cannot do absolutely nothing but to stay silent.
Scream in Silence.
Very cruel people, it's all a very soulless experience, it feels like you are talking with carcasses not with humans anymore...
carcasses of something that kinda resembles a person but is not a person and then you wonder, how is this thing even alive?? how is this person functioning?? are they able to love/hate??
It's bizarre and i don't know wha to tell you probably (most likely) I'm talking beacuse im very very tired physically and mentally but since I have to spend 3 + 8 + 3 hours of a 24 hour day staring at people of all kinds... (do the math)
You eventually begin to see patterns and behaviors, and you cannot do absolutely nothing but to stay silent.
Scream in Silence.
Oh my god...
CAAAATTTT MISSING AGAIN!?! WHAT's WRONG!~?
Nothing, just very.....very tired... I don't know whats wrong with me lately but I've been so busy with the training and the commuting i have to do everyday I think it's finally taking a toll on me..
I'm feeling like...there's no time?
But not like the Meg sticker more like..a weird feeling that you are in a endless threadmill machine that never stops, it stops for like 6~8 hours max and then begins to run again...
And it makes sense because lately all my free time (that I'm actually at home) is just around 7 or 8 hours max per-day....
The rest of the hours is the usual 4~5 sleep hours if im lucky and then the nasty commuting to the training center and then spending the day doing nothing there.
Ever since I completed the RHCE exam having to also attend to the basic course for RHCSA is pissing me off because I'm not really learning much and i'm very bored. But I cannot get either diploma if i dont finish these ones too...
So Yeah i have no choice but to keep going this horrible slug but is really taking a toll, i'm in a very bad mood and also im surrounded by ....NPC? or more like.... pieces of meat that must be destroyed?
Honestly the people I'm seeing in the center pisses me off to no limits so its all very boring and I dont talk to anyone
Specially since the last incident I had a few months ago I'm talking even less... in fact, I'm not talking at all!! (only inside my head and in my inner monologue)
And If I dare to talk i have to deal with any normie or NPC convo that will directly make me scream of frustration at this point.
I'm just tired of everyone, there's too many people that are mere pieces of meat that have no point in existing in this world (I know I sound super globalist here now)
But I'm kinda beginning to understand that there might be too many unnesessar people out there..
Heh! probably they think the same about me and would like to see me dead too how lovely!?!!?!
Nothing, just very.....very tired... I don't know whats wrong with me lately but I've been so busy with the training and the commuting i have to do everyday I think it's finally taking a toll on me..
I'm feeling like...there's no time?
But not like the Meg sticker more like..a weird feeling that you are in a endless threadmill machine that never stops, it stops for like 6~8 hours max and then begins to run again...
And it makes sense because lately all my free time (that I'm actually at home) is just around 7 or 8 hours max per-day....
The rest of the hours is the usual 4~5 sleep hours if im lucky and then the nasty commuting to the training center and then spending the day doing nothing there.
Ever since I completed the RHCE exam having to also attend to the basic course for RHCSA is pissing me off because I'm not really learning much and i'm very bored. But I cannot get either diploma if i dont finish these ones too...
So Yeah i have no choice but to keep going this horrible slug but is really taking a toll, i'm in a very bad mood and also im surrounded by ....NPC? or more like.... pieces of meat that must be destroyed?
Honestly the people I'm seeing in the center pisses me off to no limits so its all very boring and I dont talk to anyone
Specially since the last incident I had a few months ago I'm talking even less... in fact, I'm not talking at all!! (only inside my head and in my inner monologue)
And If I dare to talk i have to deal with any normie or NPC convo that will directly make me scream of frustration at this point.
I'm just tired of everyone, there's too many people that are mere pieces of meat that have no point in existing in this world (I know I sound super globalist here now)
But I'm kinda beginning to understand that there might be too many unnesessar people out there..
Heh! probably they think the same about me and would like to see me dead too how lovely!?!!?!
Stage 4
CAT what a horrible week!!!
THERES NO TIME IN THE DAY ANYMORE 24h is NOT ENOUGH!!!!
It's only tuesday and I'm already feeling totally destroyed... but I wanted to steal at least 2 or 3 hours to play something today and managed to sit down with the Unknown Soldier and tackle Stage 4, the first try we failed and i got a weird crash (most likely intel arc)
But then we tried again the second time and dear lord the struggle of this area is insane..... just to end up with the final boss of EP2 but we managed to clear it
I think this will be the start of many similar runs, now lets try to finish these stages tomorrow with the final one!!
CAT when was the last time you did this thing!?!?
12 years ago...my god this was an insane run I really had to step up my game....
THERES NO TIME IN THE DAY ANYMORE 24h is NOT ENOUGH!!!!
It's only tuesday and I'm already feeling totally destroyed... but I wanted to steal at least 2 or 3 hours to play something today and managed to sit down with the Unknown Soldier and tackle Stage 4, the first try we failed and i got a weird crash (most likely intel arc)
But then we tried again the second time and dear lord the struggle of this area is insane..... just to end up with the final boss of EP2 but we managed to clear it
I think this will be the start of many similar runs, now lets try to finish these stages tomorrow with the final one!!
CAT when was the last time you did this thing!?!?
12 years ago...my god this was an insane run I really had to step up my game....
